Life is a constant journey of expansion, learning, relearning, failing, succeeding, disappointing and never really reaching that point where you can say "thank you friends, family and everyone else, I have arrived to my eternal state of bliss and happiness". It is about the road not the destination. In this context the one who observes is more important that what is observed, because what you observe changes according to who is observing.
Last three months I had made a choice to observe darkness, lack and failure. It doesn't matter if it was conscious or unconscious choice, because either way - it was still my choice and my responsibility. If my last posts from Peru were about the brightest possible end of the spectrum then last three months I experienced that there really are two sides of a coin. I came back to Estonia and found myself facing all the expectations, childhood dreams, lessons I had learned and what needed to be learned and I didn't know how to handle it.
Today I walked by the sea and saw six beautiful swans. As they were sliding away towards opened waters my first reaction was to go and make them stop so I could keep them there, stroke their white feathers and breathe in their beauty. And then I realised...
The art of letting go.
I cannot keep the swans near me and stop the natural flow of energy. They too have their own destination and purpose. I cannot keep on holding on to my yoga-experience with Inbound school of Yoga (Peru) and magical reiki-journey with Ulla Suokko. I cannot hold on to the person I was when I was 17, 20, 22 or even yesterday. I cannot hold on to all the positive expectations (or the negative ones) I or anyone else has for me. I cannot force myself to be in certain frames even if it means that I won't completely fit in anywhere. And last but not least - I cannot hold on to people, cause on some level, they will feel it and that is the very thing that pushes people away.
Through letting go of the past experience you can comprehend the deepest level of the message they came to bring you.
The art of letting go...
Only as high as I reach can I grow,
Only as far as I seek can I go,
Only as deep as I look can I see,
Only as much as I dream can I be.
-- Karen Ravn